Redefining Solo Living
Being single when most of your friends are married can feel isolating, terrifying, and occasionally lonely. Today’s society still exhibits a traditional view on solo living; it is considered lonely and sometimes pitiful. In reality, it’s liberating, rewarding, and fulfilling.
The Reality of Solo Living
Society tends to view certain experiences—dining out, travelling, and going to the cinema—as best enjoyed with company. But that’s not my reality. My interests extend beyond those of my friends and family. Since most of them are coupled up and in the absence of a boyfriend to drag along. I embrace the independence.
Many people wait for someone to be available, likely missing out on an activity, instead of embracing independence and going alone. The truth is, if you don’t do things alone, you may end up not doing them at all.
How to go from isolation to empowerment
Don’t consider solo living, making do, or settling. Solo living embraces independence and creates a full and exciting life, regardless of your relationship status.
- Build self-confidence in yourself and your own company -dining alone, travelling solo, can prove that your happiness is dependent on you and nobody else. It builds unwavering confidence in who you are and what you are capable of doing; nobody can destroy that.
- Freedom – you have full control of your life, full control! How you live, what you do, where you go, what you eat. All decisions are based on what is best for you, no compromises, no negotiations.
- Personal growth – Being alone can develop you as a person, it refines decision-making and problem-solving skills and explores who you are and your interests without external influences.
Embrace solo life – don’t wait on other people’s schedules.
Live fully, on your schedule, not others
- Dining alone
- Solo travel
- Other activities you enjoy – cinema, hiking, concerts
Practical tips
Take something to do – If I go for breakfast or dinner alone, I usually take my laptop, a book or a notebook. It gives me plenty of time to write. I also love people-watching with an audiobook or music playing. Plan ahead; it will reduce your anxiety and act as a distraction. Confidence grows with action. The more you do these things, the less out of place you’ll feel – go for a coffee, people-watch, and enjoy what is going on around you. The first time you eat alone in a restaurant or anywhere, you will feel vulnerable, awkward, and anxious, but afterwards, you will feel so proud, with a new feeling of self-worth.
Start small – whether it’s coffee, which nobody really glances at these days, or consider the cinema, where you’re in the dark for hours with everyone completely distracted.
Navigate the discomfort
Be prepared to feel uncomfortable, you are leaving your comfort zone. You will feel completely out of place! Be prepared to feel a little awkward and receive pity looks, which further contribute to feeling awkward and slightly out of place. The first question you will be asked when you walk into a restaurant is how many? My usual response is just me. Is that okay? Because I lack confidence and hate the feeling of being judged. In reality, I don’t think people judge. Having discussed with a friend, she considers it admirable that I can eat alone. The discomfort and awkwardness are temporary, and the positives of the experience will far outweigh those initial feelings.
Solo Living Isn’t Just a Phase—It’s a Choice
Solo living is sometimes a transitional phase between relationships and life stages; at other times, it’s embraced with confidence and self-awareness. Embrace the fullness that life has to offer. Find joy and power in doing things alone and embrace who you are. You have the confidence to do it, and you will gain more. Spending time alone has an incredible way of helping you heal, relieve stress, make you more resilient, and build the best version of yourself.
Remember, you know who you are and can develop into the person you want to be and bring to the table. Always remember what you bring to the table. Solo living isn’t just about independence – it’s about fully embracing who you are, without waiting for external validation.