Doesn’t it always seem like a good place to start?
Rock bottom has historically been a negative thing; your whole life usually falls apart, and everything negative that you can imagine usually happens.
I do not think many people realise that hitting rock bottom is the best thing to happen to you. It is the universe, your god, the world’s; it is their way of saying things are not right, and you are not on your path. It is a little like the door you want to open more than anything, and it is welded shut because it is really not meant for you. Well, you are hitting rock bottom is the same thing. It is someone telling you that you have learnt everything you need to, the lesson, the experience, and you have the skills to deal with it.
So, what do you do now?
Grieve – I think we often forget to do this, but when things do not work out or you have lost someone, you need to give yourself time to process your emotions; it is essential to heal.
Breathe and Trust – Let it fall; do not try to fix things, let them settle, and you will be in a position to do something. Trust the process; it is not easy. Gosh, it is the hardest thing to do, but as they say, if it is not your door, it will not open. Once things have settled, you will start to find clarity and a way forward.
Let everything fall – Churchill once said, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” When your life is falling apart, let it; fighting it will only hurt more and delay the inevitable. I know it is hard, but let it settle; you will find a new beginning from the rubble.
Re-evaluate – This is your chance to rebuild; do not waste this opportunity. Everything has already fallen apart; you can build what you truly want. It is an opportunity to ask yourself if your life aligns with your authentic goals. Was everything you had what you really wanted? If you are made redundant, you do not go back to the same organisation; you are forced to look at something new, but you make a forced change. A forced change can be an opportunity for growth.
Do not Settle – Your life has either fallen apart, or it is falling apart; the last thing you want to do is cling to something safe or familiar. Seek what feels right, not what feels comfortable.
Retain control – Remember, it is your life, and you get to make the decisions.
Create a plan – Get clear about you and your future. Once you are clear, create your plan with intention, and it will bring your focus and purpose.
Take the opportunity to rebuild. – You have hit rock bottom. What do you have to lose? Take this opportunity to build a life that is uniquely yours.
Stay true to you – If your life were falling apart, you were likely not on the right path; you were on a path that did not align with who you are. As you rebuild, ensure it is who you are.
Be kind to yourself – You are here now, and it sucks. I know from experience, you are angry at yourself, likely disappointed and sometimes you cannot confide in those around you. It takes courage, time, and patience to restart and rebuild.
Remember that when it is not your door, it will not open, so do not try to force it.
Reasons to be grateful that your life is falling apart and finding the silver lining.
- Better things are coming, and you can create them.
- You were on the wrong path; it really, really was not meant for you. I know this was really hard for me to accept, but new directions started to appear once I did. The vision of what my life will be started to come together and became very clear.
- The people exiting your life are doing you a favour. Again, it is hard to accept, but sometimes you outgrow people; there does not need to be an argument or an official ending. You slowly become strangers, and that is okay. They are not your people anymore. It is a good thing because it creates space for those who align with who you want to be and the life you want to create.
- It is an opportunity, it feels like hell, but it is going to be okay. You get to start over; I will say that again…. You get to start over. We have all dreamt of it, a one-way ticket, problems behind us, it is never quite that simple, but rock bottom, in a way, you get to do that. There is currently nothing that can get worse. For me, I lost everything, and worse, I lost myself.
- So, remember, things cannot get much worse.
Rock bottom is the worst place to be in the moment, but it can be the best place in the long run. I am becoming a big believer that if things have fallen apart, it is probably not your path. It is something I have learnt from my own journey. The person you thought was your person, the life you thought was yours, suddenly do not fit anymore. Sometimes, you have to start at rock bottom, it is the only way to really change your life.
If you are struggling with mental health, depression, stress, or anxiety, you need to contact someone for help. Either a family member, a friend, a GP, a councillor, or a therapist.